Type 5 — The Observer
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An Observer tends to think the world demands too much, and gives too little. They focus on protecting themselves from intrusions or demands made on them by others.
They value privacy. They need signficant amounts of time alone. They will tend to be detached and will easily withdraw from others. Emotional states overwhelm an Observer — both their own feelings and those of other people. Hence they will isolate from their feelings and try to avoid the feelings of the people around them. They retreat to the domain of the mind and intellect. Others find this void of emotional connection a kind of rejection, a sign their feelings don’t matter.
The detached stance of an Observer can leave them feeling isolated. Lots of alone time may also bring with it the pain of feeling lonely. They may then long for connection. Yet at the same time, an Observer feels inadequate when it comes to connecting and dealing with real emotional interchange in relationships.
In the dance of “connection vs. space” they tend to need lots of space and can feel trapped. Others perceive them as unavailable, aloof, and try to get them to open up and talk about their feelings. It’s easy to mistake an Observer’s need for privacy as a form of rejection. Their retreat into the intellect can easily be seen as being superior.
Personal growth for an Observer is to become comfortable with feelings. Start sensing what you feel. And reveal this to others, in real time, as soon as you feel it. When you feel like withdrawing, move closer. Participate in life more, engage in conversation and discuss personal things about yourself.
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