Type 3 — The Performer
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A Performer is concerned with work and getting the job done. They are driven by the need to succeed. In essence, they believe that love and acceptance is based upon what they do, on their performance, image, achievements and success.
With their high drive to get the job done, a Performer puts feelings aside — theirs as well as the feelings of other people. This becomes a problem in relationships.
For the Performer, accomplishments are seen to be the measure of a person’s worth. This leaves them very dependent on external approval and recognition, based on how well they succeed in accomplishing things.
In relationship, others may sense they are not cared for, especially because their feelings are ignored by the Performer. The whole realm of emotional contact will seem to be missing. People want to know what a Performer feels. But there is discomfort around the arena of emotions, so a Performer will avoid this vital area of human interchange. Their partners end up feeling a lack of connection. As a Performer gets stuck in to-do lists and workaholism, their emotional absence will become the critical issue.
Personal growth for a Performer is to know and honor their feelings, and to freely discuss feelings with others. They grow with the realizion they are a human beings, not human “doings.” They also need to become the source of their own acceptance and appreciation, rather than depending on external recognition. It is vital for a Performer to slow down and smell the roses — to feel good while doing nothing — and appreciate the importance of emotion in life and love.
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